As I was making dinner for me and the boy the other night, (we had stuffed chicken breasts with prosciutto and smoked Gouda, with a nice stone ground mustard cream sauce), I was reminded about how I used to visit Nadine and cook for her.
It was while I was working at The Ram, and we all were just friends. I would pack up this large gym bag with everything I needed to cook dinner at Nadine's apartment, which ironically is only about 6 blocks from where I live now. I would bring my own pots, pans, plates, silverware, spices, knives, everything. I would even bring all the food, all in zip lock bags. I would then get on a bus and ride to her place, where I would then unload and cook her dinner. Its was also about this time that I started to learn about Nadine, and her medical problems. She would keep all her medications lined up in her kitchen like a miniature pharmacy, so I started writing them down, then looking them up later, to find out what they were and why she wasn't supposed to be taking all of them at once, like she did.
Now I had a reason for seeing Nadine, beyond cooking her dinner, which was I was the green supplier for most everyone at the Ram, so this whole trip to Nadine's was really just to sell her an 1/8, the money from which I would just spend on the cab ride home the next morning. But I didn't care. Somebody needed to take care of her. I would always give her a hard time about the water in her bong, cause it never got changed unless I did it. And it gave me a chance to play our favorite game. See, Nadine is OCD, and does notice if something has been moved around. I would love to go into her bathroom and switch just 2 small things around, then wait for her to notice. I did it to everything she owned, just moving little things around, two pictures, a candle, anything. Later, I stopped the game, realizing that she needs the stability and structure, plus she asked me to stop, though i still do sometimes.
These were also the days when me and Nadine would watch Adult Swim together. I didn't have cable, so at Nadine's we would watch cartoons. It was fun as she tried to explain them to me, Inuasha, Cowboy Bebop, Full Metal Alchemist, and Ghost in the Shell. We'd stay up all night watching them together. Even later, we always would make time for Adult swim together.
It hurts alot to remember the old days sometimes, before everything got so serious. It was a fun time, as we were still figuring out our friendship and such. I was so in love with Nadine from the very beginning, and she did her best to prevent me from getting close, but it didn't work.
Nadine, I still love you so very much, and am so lost without you. Everything about the last 8 years has been about you, taking care of you and just being with you. I loved to come see you, make dinner and just hang out with you. We would cuddle up on the couch and watch tv together, and I so miss that time together. I still don't know why you left, why you ran away and hid in another life so quickly. I'm so miserable without you, and so lost.
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