Luv letter to my ex

I've been thinking about you all week. I do so love you Nadine with all my heart. I know you love Dustin and I can see just how hard you are trying to be the new person you've always talked about. But I also know you Nadine, and the part of you that should never change. I truly wish there was a way to share you, so that you could love us both, and be with us both, yet still live the happy life as you are now. I also thought about what you said, about not getting married ever, even to Dustin, and that's ok with me Nadine, cause I never wanted to marry you; more like a celtic handfasting. And it never mattered to me that you'd keep your last name, shit, I'd probably have taken it myself. Anyways Nadine, I love you, I love you, I love you, and have never stopped since the first day I saw you scrapping gum from under the tables at the ram. You were my life for so long, and you still are Nadine, and for years to come. I do want to have kids with you, our family. I'm trying hard to get my life figured out, trying to find a plan to create a new, better life for us, for our future. I do want you back Nadine. Hell, I never wanted you to leave. Prove to yourself that you can be different, that you can start over, then truly decide how you feel. Like you always said, nothing lasts forever. You also warned me not to fall in love cause of how painfully you tended to break hearts, and you were right. Mine is absolutely destroyed, and only you can help me put it back together. I love you more now, and will never stop believing that someday, we will be together again. Please don't think that all creepy like a stalker, but I truly believe that our lives are meant to be together, like we are. It feels right Nadine, the energy between us, our relationship. I still don't know or understand why you left me Nadine, why we could have talked things out before you took such an abrupt turn and ended things. And it will hurt for quite a while how quickly you jumped right into bed with someone else, granted he's probably way better than me, not that difficult, but now while you sit in your new place, with somebody to love you, and wait on you, my life is still shit. You were the one and only thing in my life that mattered, and without you now....the will to try is gone. But you tell me you still love me, and need me in your life, much as I do so need you. You say you need me to come see you, hang out with you, even cuddle with you, that you miss me and talk about me a lot, which makes me wonder why you left me. Anyways, Nadine if you want me back in your life, then pursue me. Call me and invite me over more. As for cuddles, well that might get tricky baby, cause I think that once I hold you in my arms again, I won't be able to let go. And you drive me wild just being around you. It was all I could do to sleep on the floor, behave like a gentleman. Its not easy, cause so much of our early relationship was about me being the other guy on the side in your life, for quite a long time. And I do so very much enjoy sex with you Nadine, I always have. I know there was a long period of time that we both lost interest in it, and I'm sorry if you ever thought for a second that you were anythings less in my life, or if you felt ignored or neglected. I will never make you feel unappreciated or take you for granted ever. I love you, need you and want you back so bad Nadine.